I lost a friend yesterday. I was introduced to him over a decade ago as "Curtis Fuckin' Ramone". He was the sort of person that it was always a treat to see. He made everybody laugh, even at the end of a 16 hour day. His gangly-armed hugs were something to look forward to. His rude t-shirts were legion, his enormous heart legend, his mixed tapes and cds coveted, and his humour endless.
This sucks!
I hate losing people.
I always start to think back to the last time I saw them, what I said, the last time I thought of them ... Did I ever tell them how much I liked them? Of course not ... you rarely know the last time you see them will be the last time you see them.
Sometimes it feels like life is just a series of losses strung together by not-quite-enough breathing space. I guess that's one way to look at it. Another way to look at it is that time is short, and life is precious. There's way too much suck and ass, so you gotta hold tight to the good stuff.
So, I'll sit here right now and resolve not to take life for granted, not to take people for granted. But then I'll go back to my old ways of impatience and inattention, once the shock of loss wears off, and I get to the next patch of 'breathing space'. But at least for today I shall try to do better.
Michael Curtis, I was very fond of you.
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated ...
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